01.12.2003 - 6:33 pm
There are many types of men in this world, just as there are many types of people. Claudette and I had much discussion over this topic. We ended up by placing the male types into three categories: good guys, the rebels, jackass/fucktard.
Good guys - These are the ones everyone wishes they could find and, when they do find them, they immediately are dumped for the more "spontaneous" and "thrilling" rebels. These are the boys that call you regularly, don't cheat on you and don't lie to you, bring you spontaneous little gifts, respect your opinons, like your parents and your parents like them, witty and can hold good conversations, have a good sense of humor. They also make efforts in the relationship and are going somewhere with their lives. These are the guys who have lofty dreams and ambitions with the ability to achieve them. They are happy with you the way that you are and don't want you to change in any manner, be it dressing/weight/hair/attitude/looks.
Essentially, they are everything you want or could hope for EXCEPT for the "mystique" of the rebels.
The Rebels - These are the guys that women all secretly like yet don't want committed relationships with. They are the antipathy of the Good Guys - they don't listen to anyone's opinons and generally like to give anyone who disagrees with them the middle finger. It is this charm, this "untamble" quality that draws women to them like chickens to roads that must be crossed.
These are the guys you date, things slowly turning into a "Behind the Music" mess - sex, drugs and...yeah, rock 'n roll and such - until you get sick of the whole mess and find another Good Guy to date.
Bad guys are like an addiction for some women - like my Aunt Barb. But then again, my Aunt Barb likes to drink and currently is dating a guy my age with coke-bottle lens and about 20 snakes so...yeah, you shouldn't take her as an example of normality.
Jackass/Fucktard - These are the guys that you ALWAYS end up dating. These are the guys that you date while waiting for the Good Guys and the Rebels to come along.
This type of male makes up 70% of the guy population (20% are Rebels, 10% are Good Guys). Once you date a man of this particular variety, he NEVER fully goes away. Yes, you may break up with him. You may call him a "bastard" or a "whore" or even a "stupid fucking retard goat-ball licker" and he will STILL call you at least once after your inital break-up. Particularly expect to hear from him whenever you start a new relationship or, at the very least, once every few years. He'll usually call for the most innane and stupid reasons imaginable (or you'll even call him) and somehow manage to throw in tidbits of his own personal life that either you don't care about or make no relative sense ("Yeah, so did you know I got a new dog? His name's Tiffy. Yeah, he's got this erection problem..")
Though similar in many ways, they have a couple of differences. A fucktard is more rude and disrespectful while the jackass just does stupid shit. Like the show "Jackass" - those guys? Jackasses. Cute, but jackasses. When thinking of a fucktard, try to picture Puck from 'The Real World'. That, my friends, is a fucktard. He has jackass qualities BUT the added allure of the foul mouth and scab-picking.
~Amanda~
