02.05.2003 - 8:15 am
Man, I am tired. I got a decent 8 hours of sleep last night but now my brain is like, "Shit yeah, 8 hours! Can I hear a 15!?"
I have a test today and a paper due Thursday that I haven't started yet. Still, I have all tonight and part of tomorrow to work on it so I'm certain I'll finish it.
Lately I've been so unenthusiastic about school, or classes in general, that it's not funny. I think if i devote myself, though, for the next few nights to a decent sleep schedule then I should be ok.
I'm still very much disappointed over the conversation the other evening that I discussed in yesterday's entry. Particularly my boi's conclusion that it was all caused by my Women's Studies courses.
I thought he understood, I really did. I thought he realized that taking these courses, even gaining a stronger view of feminist theories and topics wouldn't make me a "man-hater". No feminist is a "man-hater". True, I joked around with him in the beginning on this before. But I haven't in a long time and...how could he assume that? I mean..that means that he sees me as guillible enough to be so influenced by a class alone.
It never occurred to him that groping me constantly, particularly since I've never had such a high amount of groping in my life. But it must have been assumed that I liked it up until that "damn WMS class" of mine.
When he tries to share things, it's with this immediate urgency that I must go watch this now, I must go read this now, I must I must. And yet, when I share things, when I show him things, the best I rate is a 'I'll watch it later' or some gruntal noise. There is not real discussion.
And I do not even want to go into the game ordeal last night. I know I'm second place - I've dealt with that. Maybe that's why it didn't make me as mad as it did Claudette when I told her about it.
Maybe it all does boil down to sex. Maybe that's the thing that holds people together. Maybe that's REALLY what the world revolves around.
I don't want to be pigeon-holed in this whole thing.
~Amanda~
